New York, NY – September 9, 2020 – Today, Private Division and Obsidian Entertainment announced The Outer Worlds: Peril on Gorgon, the first narrative-led expansion for the critically acclaimed, darkly humorous sci-fi RPG, is now available for the PlayStation®4, PlayStation®4 Pro, across the Xbox One family of devices, including Xbox One X, and Windows PC*. The expansion will be coming later to Nintendo Switch. The Outer Worlds: Peril on Gorgon is available individually or at a discount as part of The Outer Worlds Expansion Pass, which will also include The Outer Worlds: Murder on Eridanos,  the second expansion set to launch in the first half of calendar 2021. The Outer Worlds won numerous awards upon its release last year including “Best RPG” from IGN, “Best Role-Playing Game” from Game Informer, and “Game of The Year” from Destructoid. 

Peril on Gorgon begins with a cryptic message beckoning you to investigate the Gorgon Asteroid. This remote scientific facility was once a beacon of crowning achievement in developing Adrena-Time, a modern marvel which improved health and worker productivity. However, the program was abruptly and inexplicably shut down. You must venture through deep canyons, defunct laboratories, and abandoned research facilities to piece together the clues that hold the truth behind one of the darkest secrets within the Spacer’s Choice corporation. What will you find on Gorgon? 

“We wanted to dig into pulp noir to explore the seedier side of Halcyon’s corporations,” said Carrie Patel, Game Director at Obsidian Entertainment. “With Peril on Gorgon, players (and their favorite crew members!) can explore an exciting new location filled with intrigue and threats, and they can uncover dangerous secrets about Spacer’s Choice.” 

Peril on Gorgon brings a host of additional content for players. It raises the level cap within the game to allow for more flexibility in skill customization and there are more perks and flaws which can provide rare bonuses or unique obstacles. The expansion also introduces three new science weapons and a variety of new armor sets. Peril on Gorgon expands on the award-winning formula of The Outer Worlds while giving players new reasons to revisit and further explore the Halcyon colony. 

“The Outer Worlds is a deeply satisfying RPG, full of the player choice and a rich narrative audiences have come to expect from Obsidian, and Peril on Gorgon is a true to form expansion,” said Allen Murray, Vice President of Production at Private Division. “This expansion welcomes players to return to the Halcyon colony for even more of the dark humor, compelling story, and exciting adventures that they loved from the base game.” 

The Outer Worlds: Peril on Gorgon is available now for $14.99 digitally for the PlayStation®4, Xbox One, and Windows PC through the Epic Games Store and Microsoft Store*. Peril on Gorgon is also available in a bundle for $24.99 which will include the second expansion Murder on Eridanos. Players on Xbox Game Pass will receive a 10% discount to purchase Peril on Gorgon. The expansion requires the base game in order to play. The Outer Worlds: Peril on Gorgon is rated M for mature by the ESRB. More information can be found by subscribing on YouTube, following on Twitter, by becoming a fan on Facebook, and visiting www.TheOuterWorlds.com. 

*A copy of The Outer Worlds on the same platform is required to play DLC and Expansion Pass content. The Outer Worlds is available digitally on Windows PC through the Epic Games Store and Microsoft Store. ​

Kuala Lumpur, MY-- September 10, 2020 -- The frantically cute couch co-op bake-o-rama, Bake ‘n Switch arrives on Nintendo eShop today! Help Rosemary, Thyme, Parsley, Ginger, Sage and Salt defend the sweet and savory worlds of Tropic Toaster and Serradurra from the encroaching invasion of Mouldies! Pick up your copy on your Nintendo eShop today for €29.99.

Battle Mouldies and bake rambunctious Buns through over 100 levels of a’dough’rable party action. Choose from 6 Bakers, each with unique baking abilities, and play with up to 4 friends in co-op or against them in PvP or Team v Team in online or local multiplayer through the lush jungles of Tropic Toaster and the sweet but deadly desert terrain of Serradurra. 

Those Buns might be cute, but each of the 7 different breeds have their own quirky behaviors - which could help or hinder your progress - so show no mercy and get those bouncing, rolling, burrowing and flocking Buns in the oven before time runs out! Max out your scores to win special costumes and challenge yourself in Stormy maps where weather and enemies are more unpredictable. Hey, it’s a breadful task, but someone’s gotta “dough” it!

“After much anticipation, tweaks and polish, we are beyond excited to launch Bake ‘n Switch on Nintendo Switch today,” said Stefan Baier, COO of Streamline Games. “But this is just the beginning of the Bun madness, as we have batches of new content baking even as we speak! Start honing your Dough merging, punching and baking skills because there’s lots more to come!” 

Bake ’n Switch is set to receive various free DLC updates throughout the coming months. Based on player feedback during the Steam soft launch, Streamline will be implementing a Single Player Campaign, Ad-hoc Matchmaking and Chinese localization in addition to already planned new Co-Op and PVP maps and challenges to continuously expand the Bake ‘n Switch world. All SKUs of the game will benefit from this content.

For Legacy links use the tags at the bottom of each post
​

​After the successful release of Banner of the Maid on Switch and PS4 last August 12th, developer Azure Flame Studio is proud to announce that Banner of the Maid's first DLC, The Oriental Pirate, will be released on PlayStation 4 and Nintendo Switch on September 15th. Meet Mu Zhiyun, an oriental pirate serving under Ching Shih who just arrived in Europe with a secret agenda. The Oriental Pirate is Banner of the Maid's first DLC and it will be available on the PS Store and the eShop for $4.99 / €4,99 / HK$35 (check the stores for your regional equivalence). You can watch The Oriental Pirate trailer below these lines.

Banner of the Maid is a mix of turn-based strategy and JRPG, set in an alternate French Revolution (late 18th to early 19th century) with fantasy elements and a unique anime art style. You play as the young officer Pauline Bonaparte, leading your troops to victory in turn-based dynamic battles – but also taking part in the complex political landscape of Paris, full of intrigues and conspiracies. But Pauline is more than just a brilliant officer – she is also a Maid, one of the fabled women with mysterious powers capable of turning the tide of a battle… A deep epic story full of twists, glory, and fantasy where the destiny of the Revolution lays in your hands.

PS4 keys for The Oriental Pirate are available, as well as review keys for Banner of the Maid (both PS4 and Switch versions)

In Banner of the Maid you will command the most iconic troops from the Revolution era in deep-turn based strategy combats with dynamic environments -- more than 30 different terrains, including cities, plains, snowy mountains, etc. with environmental changes like snow or fog which will force you to be constantly on your toes, adapting your strategy to every situation. Your generals, over 30 fascinating characters including historical figures like Desaix, Murat and Lannes among others, will all have different backgrounds and skills that can be trained and improved with experience– but you will have to talk to them to discover their stories, gain their trust and understand their hearts if you want them to reach their true potential. You will also take part in challenges and quests to gain political favor, funds to improve your weaponry and supplies – but be careful, for your actions may tip the balance of power in Paris…

After a successful release in China in May 2019, with a user approval rate of 89% on Steam, Banner of the Maid was released on Western markets fully localized to English last January on Steam and this summer on consoles. 

BANNER OF THE MAID'S KEY FEATURES

Live an epic story of war and politics in an alternate French Revolution 
Fight iconic turn-based battles in more than 30 different dynamic environments 
Take part of the political vortex of Paris in a thrilling history of intrigues and glory
Complete quests and challenges to establish political connections, gain funds and secure supplies
Train your generals to improve their abilities. More than 30 characters with different backgrounds and skills are available for you to command!
Talk to your allies to win their trust and understand their hearts, and you will be unstoppable in battle!

REDMOND, Wash.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--A century before the events of the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild game, the Great Calamity occurred. Hyrule was plunged into darkness, devastated by an evil force which transformed the kingdom forever. While the Great Calamity is touched on in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild for the Nintendo Switch system, fans have never experienced what happened before that catastrophic event … until now.

In the Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity game, which launches exclusively for Nintendo Switch on Nov. 20, players will be transported to the time before the Great Calamity happened, participating in epic battles against a backdrop of familiar locations in Hyrule before they were destroyed. The game stars recognizable characters from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild like Link and Zelda, as well as other characters like the four Champions, who will be playable for the very first time in the Hyrule Warriors series.

“Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity is a must-play for fans of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild,” said Nick Chavez, Nintendo of America’s Senior Vice President of Sales and Marketing. “Roll up your blue tunic sleeves and get ready for a dramatic and surprising adventure through Hyrulean history this holiday season.”

Hyrule Warriors: The Age of Calamity features gameplay that will be familiar to fans of the Hyrule Warriors and Fire Emblem Warriors games. Focused on performing combos and over-the-top special abilities, the action-heavy gameplay is fast-paced and strategic, perfect for players looking for an intense, non-stop action game with direct ties to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. In addition to all the action, the game is loaded with a robust story that depicts the events, relationships and dramatic moments of the Great Calamity in captivating detail.

Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity finds plenty of inspiration from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild – not just in its visual style. Many of the most popular and fan-favorite characters from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild are playable, including Link and Zelda. In addition to hacking and slashing their way through swarms of enemies to defend Hyrule, players will also solve environmental puzzles, unlock weapons and skills, craft materials, visit shops to obtain items and use the power of the Sheikah Slate, which fans will recognize from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

To pre-order Hyrule Warriors: The Age of Calamity and learn more about the game, visit https://www.zelda.com/hyrule-warriors/.
Remember that Nintendo Switch features parental controls that let adults manage the content their children can access. For more information about other features, visit https://www.nintendo.com/switch/.

Hamburg, September 8, 2020 – gamigo is thrilled to announce Patch 66 and 67 for its colorful online MMO Aura Kingdom. Daring adventurers can embark on an epic journey through new dungeons together with novel pets and explore a thrilling Gaia Chronicle event.
 In the mysterious Eidolon story dungeon, players can prove their might against fearsome foes to learn the story of Kitami, before moving on to face off against terrible enemies in an additional Monster story dungeon or delve into the depths of a new Nightmare dungeon by themselves. For those still feeling restless after claiming the spoils of their fights, a new Gaia Chronical event awaits them in the fantastical realm of Azuria.
Another 5-person Mirabelle quest will also be introduced in this double patch. Players and their friends can now take advantage of the semi-automatic cast skills which help them in their battles against the countless monsters roaming the diverse in-game world. This and much more awaits the heroes of Aura Kingdom in the latest update.
More information about the game and its latest update can be found on the official website.

Website
Facebook, Twitter, YouTube,

FRANKFURT, 07/09/2020 — We are proud to announce that the critically acclaimed WARTILE will come to Nintendo Switch by the end of this month. After months of hard work, the indie strategy adventure is now ready to unleash a horde of wild vikings to raid the Nintendo console on September 24th.

The Unreal Engine 4 powered tabletop homage comes with a bonus on Nintendo Switch as well: The previously released DLC, Hel's Nightmare, is right away included in this version of WARTILE.

​​You had them on your PC already. And yes, even on the PS4 and the Xbox. But now our Vikings from WARTILE will also raid the Nintendo Switch. Later this month, the complete edition with all previous DLCs included will hit the Nintendo console!

ABOUT WARTILE
Experience a living, breathing tabletop video game that invites the player into a miniature universe full of small adventures set in beautifully handcrafted diorama battle boards inspired by Norse mythology to honor the Vikings!

Wartile is a cool-down based game that keeps the action flowing, with ample opportunities to plan your moves. Although it contains the strategic elements from turn-based games, a mixture of slow down features and cool-down based gameplay maintains the tension of battle while allowing for breathing room to make tactical decisions. At its heart, Wartile is a game about positioning and tactical decision making.

About the included DLC:
Evil powers have been awoken and a horde of Draugr Warriors is pouring into the norse regions, leaving trails of death and chaos in its wake. The King of the North watches silently as villages are pillaged and its civilians captured and brought to Hel’s Pillar.

Once again your fellowship must raise arms against the undead threat. Enjoy five brand new handcrafted battle boards, continuing the story after Niflheim. Each battle board is offering variated tactical challenges, set in a unique mood and style. Lead your Viking fellowship into the Hel's Nightmare accompanied by the new hero Ogier the Dane.

Leon, Spain — September 7th, 2020  — Ratalaika Games & Colin Lane Games AB are proud to announce that Golf Zero will be released onto Nintendo Switch, Xbox One, PlayStation 4 consoles this week.

It’s a relaxing weekend and time to play a round of mini golf!

Grab your putter, move your avatar around the 2d course and take your best shot!

But you’ll quickly find that this isn’t just an ordinary outing on the green...
Golf Zero will be priced for 4.99$ / € for all platforms.

It will launch on:
PS4 America: September 8th
PS4 Europe: September 9th
Xbox One: September 9th
Nintendo Switch (NA & EU): September 11th

​Golf Zero is a cute, fun and original little game with a mix of clever golf platforming gameplay.

What starts as a relaxing outing on a grassy 2d golf green soon builds into a crazy physics obstacle course!

To sink a putt you must jump, sprint or slide while avoiding unconventional hazards like brutal boulders, whirling saw blades, or zinging bullets as the challenge increases.

Do you have what it takes to earn the Gold Medal?
Features:

40 levels of golf platforming madness
Competitive speed run mode
Endearing pixel art

PARIS (September 7, 2020) - Publisher and co-developer Dotemu with co-developers Lizardcube and Guard Crush Games have announced a new patch for Streets of Rage 4 that brings almost 80 updates, bug fixes and balance changes to the game, all of which were tested by the community itself. The co-developer and publisher also revealed the title has been downloaded more than 1.5 million times.

Streets of Rage 4’s new patch brings enhancements and fixes to the game, including:

• Specials and start move can interrupt all hitstun states
• Axel has been buffed, with a faster move speed and less recovery on some moves
• Cherry has been buffed, with her flying punch from combos now being fully invincible

​
The full patch notes can be found here.

“We couldn’t be happier with the reception of Streets of Rage 4. We thank the fans who have supported the game from day one - a lot of the updates in the patch enhance the replay value for folks who have been with us from the start,” Cyrille Imbert, executive producer on Streets of Rage 4, said. “Additional updates are currently in production and we’ll have more to share on that soon.”

Streets of Rage 4 is a revival of the classic beat em’ up series released in 2020 that was released earlier this spring on PC, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch and PlayStation 4. After not seeing a release for 25 years, Streets of Rage 4 brought the series into the modern era, and received critical praise upon launch. The title featured new and returning fighters, stylish hand-drawn artwork, brand new combat abilities and mechanics, retro pixel character unlocks, and a soundtrack crafted in homage to the sound and style that made the original games so popular. 

A quick note on the reasons for the lack of content over the last few weeks and the plans moving forward.

Recent lack of content

Due to a mixture of personal issues and a few problems with the kids over the past 3 weeks the site news had to take a bit of a back seat.
We did have a number of features and posts scheduled to post during the down time but due to an issue with the site editor the scheduled posts either aren't posting at all or at best posting sporadically, we have are currently instigating the issue and it will hopefully be fixed soon.

We manually made sure the Mario Kart time trial series and My Life My Mind segments were posted on time because they are on a very strict time schedule.

 Regular daily updates

With all the issues now sorted and the kids finally back at school I can commit to daily site updates.
While I ease back into things and sort through my schedule I plan on posting between 3 and 5 updates a day and occasionally more where possible.

Having a lighter schedule will also give me more time to work on and record some new features we think will be quite popular.
​We'll announce them in due course once they have confirmed dates rather than trying to rush things through to a deadline. 

High School Never Ends Part 1

Possibly the most eventful 5 years of my entire life I hated almost every minute of it but something was always happening.
This is just a sample of the first 3 years.
(Ed) This entry contains content of an adult nature and language the reader may find offensive please consider this before reading. (Ed)

What a bitch!
Not the teacher who took one more big suck before running her her tongue all over my dick, she slipped it back out of her mouth gave it a kiss and slipped it back in my pants where it belonged.
No she wasn't the bitch she was one of the few reasons I actually got to finish high school without killing myself not something everyone in my high school managed to do.
But that is a story for part 2 (Chapter 8)

No it was the whole going to high school for a whole 5 years that was the real bitch here.
During those 5 years I experienced boredom, extreme depression, very occasional subjects of interest, anorexia, a number of disgraceful teaching decisions, some utterly disgraceful teachers, screwed up exams, of course the aforementioned special teacher and her extra relaxation methods and even someone pointing a gun directly in my face threatening to blow me away all because I wouldn't give him any chewing gum!

This chapter will cover the first 3 years of high school so lets start at the very beginning with the first day at the new big school.
Most of my former class mates from the old small school were walking around all day like nervous little sheep but for me personally it was no different to before.
Sure it was a much bigger school and there were more kids around but to me nothing had really changed it was just a slightly bigger hell than before.
The only real difference being the fact we had different teachers for every class and had to move around to get to them.

The boredom set in quickly we were covering far more subjects than we ever did during the past but none of them sparked any additional interest for me, I still breezed through maths because I've always just found numbers so incredibly easy and I still enjoyed writing in English but my creativity was severely dampened in that subject due to the sheer amount of reading we had to do on subjects I simply hated.
Shakespeare in particular was never going to motivate me to read or write anything and would become a constant battle between myself and my teachers throughout high school and lead to a collapse in grades in the final GCSE exams at the end of high school.
We also had to read Wind in the willows which wasn't an issue in itself but I had already read the book a couple of years earlier and lacked the motivation to do so again.
In addition to the fact that I was expected to read out aloud on multiple occasions and that was never going to end very well.
But despite those disagreements with the English teacher he did redeem himself when he told us to write a creative story about the entire class, each chapter had to be a minimum 2 pages and he'd drop in a compulsory scenario that had to happen in each one.
the basic premise was the school had won a holiday cruise that got stranded, we all end up on an island where a number of people are taken by cannibals, and on and on it went.
Needless to say I was in my element and ended up turning in over 250 pages of action, excitement and of course lots of death as once again I had the freedom to pick of my class mates in any creative way I saw fit.
I was awarded an A+ grade for my efforts and after covering my issues with reading out aloud in class during the story he never asked me to do so again, not that it mattered a whole lot during 5 years of high school we ended up with 8 different English teachers!

The class I was expecting to have the most issues with during my first year was actually the one I had the least with, Religious education (RE)
During the first RE lesson the teacher asked who believed in God, a number of pupils put their hand up.
She then asked who didn't and of course I put my hand up along with a small group of others.
She pointed at me and asked if there was any particular reason for it.
I told her I not only believe it to be the biggest hoax in the history of mankind but religion in general (And that's all religion not one particular version) is the biggest killer or murder motivation in the history of mankind. (That's true by the way)
She asked who agreed with me and unsurprisingly nobody put their hand up.
She walked over to my desk bent down and asked me how I felt about the old gods such as the Greek ones or the vikings, I told her they didn't exist either but at least they were fun and had a cool story.
"Well" she smiled, "You're going to have some fun for one year at least anyway"
And I did for the most part, the whole mythology and stories surrounding the Greek gods in particular have always appealed to me because they don't really read as religious teachings at least not to me.

Now before the ed jumps in to add this I have no personal issue with anyone else believing in anything they want, my biggest issue with the teaching of religion in schools is that it's compulsory and not optional, each individual it having things told to them from as young age often as facts when no such things can ever be proven as true.
Of course if a person decides to follow faith regardless of what faith that is then that's fine with me but given them the chance to make up and explore that option themselves and stop trying to influence them throughout childhood.

So with that controversial point out of the way lets jump ahead to my third year of high school.
From a learning perspective both the second and third year were more of the same with an ever deeper depression setting in and less teachers I actually got on with and what felt like ever decreasing creative freedom in lessons.

By this point one of the head teachers (we had more than one for various years) had decided to take me under her wing as some kind of special project.
She had already decided I was extremely shy (completely untrue) and had dyslexia (that is true) so she started recording work books ect for me to listen to so I wouldn't have to read them and could work more easily.
That was her idea on how things would work anyway in reality she read too fast and not clear enough to make it  worth the effort or time in addition to the fact she almost always did it for maths where I excelled and despite the fact I sometime end up reading things over more than once I actually still enjoy reading as long as it's in my own head.
For me it was more of an annoyance than anything else but within a month or so she'd got bored or just too busy to carry on and the whole thing ended as quickly as it started.
I was relived I hated the weekly meetings her breath always smelled really strongly of coffee and I didn't need the attention from the other kids while sat in a class room wearing headphones that didn't even block out the rest of the class noise anyway.
So her ultimate solution would be when I moved up to the final two school years for the exam period she'd put my in all of the low performing class groups therefore making my work that much easier while also giving me several supported studies each week where in theory I can sit in a class with the other perceived idiots and get help from a teacher with work from other classes.
In reality we'd sit in a class I'd do my home work because I was never going to do it at home and nobody got any additional help or support from which ever teacher had drawn the short straw to sit with us because they either had no knowledge of most subjects and none of them ever wanted to be there in the first place.
So even in subjects like maths where I was certainly in the top percentage of my class at the end of year 2 I was put in the bottom group from year 3 onward no matter how well I did.
The only class I ever got moved up a level in was science and my teacher had to fight months on end for that.
I wish he hadn't in the end because they still put me in the easiest exam group at the end of high school and the teacher in the next level group hated me anyway.

I'll round out year 3 the way I did in real life with anorexia.
A random comment one day on the school field affected me far more than it should have and to this day I still really don't know why.
I took one bite of a cucumber and tomato sandwich and the kid in question pointed over at me and said look at him stuffing his fat face like he always is.
I threw the sandwich in my bag and just simply walked off the field.
I'd had issues with the kid in question for a long time, he took an instant dislike to me when he joined our school midway through junior school.
He always bragged about being amazing at cricket but I'd always bowl him out so easily and if I were out batting him he'd tap it and run just to run me out of the game and not show him up further.
So we weren't friends and I'd certainly butchered him with great delight in multiple stories over the years, but nothing he'd ever said to me before or even afterwards ever bothered me, it was just that one stupid little comment at that exact moment on that day.
Once off the field all my lunch (which wasn't much more than the sandwiches anyway all went in the bin.
For almost 4 years I never ate breakfast or lunch again and only on very rare occasions would I even eat later at night and never more than three times a week.
I started to get a lot more tired throughout the school day than I use to before despite having the usual 4 / 5 hours of sleep everyday and after a few months I noticed some of the weight beginning to drop off.
But it wasn't a weight issue for me in the first place I've never cared about my body size or shape and I still don't today.
On the few occasions I did eat later at night it was almost always full on fat food under some kind of crazy idea that if I eat a load of this kind of stuff now it will get me through to the next one.
In the end it just simply became a routine and I've always tried to stick to routines where possible which I guess is just another autism thing.

In reflection I didn't stop eating because of something some idiot said to me, I wouldn't give you that much credit or power then or now.
I left the field because I was sick of listening to him and I dumped my food because I always eat in the same place and I wasn't going to eat it somewhere else.
It's all about the routine.
I never was and never will be interested in eating food regardless of what it is or how good it looks and tastes, I'm one of those people who would happily take a pill every meal time and never eat food again and that's coming from someone so dead set against taking medication pills.
Food is a chore for me and something that takes up time that could be better spent doing something else.
I don't like people doing things for me so I have to waste time making the food before I waste even more time eating it.

But that's me and how I am.
So unique perhaps I can't even do an eating disorder right or for the right reasons, no that's not quite right there aren't any right reasons for anorexia, or bulimia or any other issue that so many people go through every year especially in high school.
For some people it's the bullies or the little comments, for others it's depression or self hatred.
And maybe some people out there just simply hate eating like me.
It doesn't matter what the reason is if I hadn't met Kerry I would have eventually starved to death or ended up in and out of hospital for how ever long I survived.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be some fully reformed and fully fixed person when it comes to food.
I still won't have breakfast or lunch more than once a week and even that is a rarity, But I do now eat dinner at least 6 times a week.
So I can't say much about the choices that others make and I highly doubt that I can say a whole lot that will make a big enough difference that it will magically fix all of your issues.
But if anyone wants to talk about it or indeed any issues with high school in general (I went through most of them)
you can get in touch via email 
Contact@VideoGameLegacy.com
Put My Life My Mind in the subject matter it will flag up as important in our always full inbox then.

And that's about it for part one of high school never ends (Spoiler the song is right it really doesn't)
Part 2 will cover how things started with the teacher in the first place and more details on exactly what we did and didn't do as well as my reasoning for never naming her.
It will also cover having a gun shoved in my face and how badly I wanted him to pull that trigger and get my life over and done with.
All of that will be here in chapter 8 as I work my way through a few extra money making schemes I took part in while attending high school and telling a world famous footballer exactly why I didn't want or need his autograph!

Chapter 4.5 The Mind

The keeper gets a new look, while the monsters from the dark attempt to dismember more people.

​
New chapters will be published every Sunday at 8pm (UK time)
Bonus chapters will be posted on July 21st & November 25th at 8pm regardless of day
The book will be concluded with the epilogue on July  21st  2024

​Not everyone general readers or our game industry partners will be happy about the inclusion of this book on the website.
If we lose views or press content or review copies then that's just life and that's how it will be.
Under no circumstances will this content be removed to satisfy the desires of anyone else.
We won't be publishing more than 4 of these entries a month so they shouldn't be all that hard to just skip past.
Talking about life's struggles as well as life's happiness is something that not enough people in the world do already.
This book does have sporadic gaming content and gaming certainly saved my life more than once.
I've also heavily edited the book since it was first written to remove over 99% of the language some people might find offensive so reader / developer / publisher or press partner if you're simply offended because this book talks about real life (or some of that crazy mind stuff) I thank you for visiting and or any help you've given me in the past.

After Donut Plains the Bowser castle track series is my least favourite across every Mario Kart Game
needless to say this time trial was incredibly bad!

The Mind Part 3

Our guide finally reveals her name to everyone and hell might actually be freezing over!

(Ed) This entry contains content including the fictional death of children some people may find inappropriate, offensive or upsetting please consider this before reading. (Ed)

Our guide walks up to the big bolted door, while her accommodation had been improved it's still not nearly as satisfactory as she'd like it to be.
She puts her hand up to knock hesitantly.
​Who knows what she'll find this time perhaps the keeper is somehow just getting younger with each passing visit, he needs to let her in on that secret she could be a millionaire!
She takes a deep breath and gently knocks on the door, it opens much quicker than she expected catching her off guard and sending her falling through to the floor inside.
She braces herself for the crunch of the hard cold floor and potential broken glass all around there is no crunch but the floor is cold, far colder than usual.
She slowly gets to her feet trying not to slip on the snow all around her.
The keeper still in child form no older or younger than last time she was in here is stood a few feet away  in a patch of yellow snow and surrounded by mountains of snowballs.

(Ed) Can we please not do the he wet himself again? (Ed)

Choosing to ignore the the yellow snow our guide instead turns her attention to the mountain of Snowballs.

(Ed) Thank you! (Ed)

"They said I had a snowball's chance in hell of getting through to you when I got here I guess they were right"

She isn't sure if the keeper actually got the joke or not but he did manage a little smirk right before he started pelting her with a barrage of snowballs the last of which split open her right eyebrow.

"Hey what was that for?"

Before the keeper even has a chance to reply  a number of kids run through the bolted door and begin shouting and screaming while throwing snowballs at each other.
Our guide looks around the room at what most might generally just describe as little kids being little kids but the keeper is also a little kid and he obviously doesn't fit in, a number of the kids soon begin to target all of their snowballs in his direction.
Out of a darkened corner and old balding man steps forward, his glasses halfway down his nose he should also be experienced enough to know this is is mostly kids being kids but he also looks less than impressed with the noise or behaviour.
The keeper makes a his way over to him and hands him a piece of paper.
The old man smiles pats the keeper on the back whispers something in his ear and makes his departure through the forever open door.

The keeper takes a couple of steps back towards a darkened corner but our guide can still see the smile on his face as creatures begin to come out of the shadows.
Some have red eyes, some green, others yellow, some have fangs, others covered in hair and yet more are simply too strange or difficult to describe.

(Ed) Oh come on how hard could it be to describe creature with a vain covered face with only 1 eye, 3 arms and razor blade like claws! as for the rest why not just tell people to imagine any of the old hammer horror movies but with a lot more gore and a lot less human! (Ed)

Within what felt like seconds the room had fallen silent, the creatures had bitten, clawed and torn apart all the children with a viciousness our guide couldn't begin to comprehend.
The keeper walks back over to her with a look of calmness on his face.
The only sound now present was his footsteps in the blood soaked snow, as he steps over a discarded body part and takes our guides shaking hand.
Our guide looks down at the keeper who seems completely at ease with his current surroundings.

"They were just children"
"They had names"
"They had families"

The keeper looks genuinely puzzled by her reaction as he surveys the room,

"Do you have a name?"

Completely thrown off guard our guide starts walking around the room trying to avoid all of what is left behind.

"Does it really matter what my name is?"
"All of these kids had a name and look what happened to them"
"My name isn't important" 

Once again the keeper takes a hold of our guides hand,

"Don't worry about all of these people we can do it all again next week and I'll make it better I promise"
"They don't matter"
"As long as I can keep making them go away they will never matter"
"But you're name does"
"If you truly want to be here and you truly want to see this through to the end then you need to tell me"

Our guide looks towards the open door and takes a deep breath.

"Well I guess I'm pretty committed to all of this now right?"
"My name is..."

(Ed) Despite all the name jokes please be sure you want to say her name she's always been the guide in every draft for the last 15 years! (Ed)

She takes another deep breath.

"My name is Cecilia"
"Cece or CC if you prefer"
"So how about you drop the keeper stuff and tell me your name too?"

The keeper throws a couple of limbs through the open door on the way to his favoured dark corner.

"I'm sorry I can't do that"
"It will totally ruin the ending of the book"

As he disappears into the darkness Cecilia picks up a half yellow, half red snowball and throws it in his direction.

"I hope that hit you!"

Rather than waiting for a response she knows is likely never coming Cecilia picks up her snow covered journal and makes her way out of the bolted door and back towards her room.
It might still not be the most comfortable but at least it wasn't covered in snow and body parts.

(Ed) Please note that neither the author nor the site or anyone involved condones or wants to promote violence against children in anyway.
The mind segments are largely a work of fiction and should be read and understood as such.
These were the thoughts and feelings from within a child's mind how healthy or unhealthy they maybe is an entirely different debate but that remains what they were. (Ed)

Chapter 4 High School Never Ends Part 1

The book finally takes off as 5 years of high school see's boredom, pain, an eating disorder, bullies,  future career ambitions raised and crushed, messed up exams, sexual relations with a teacher, and someone pointing a gun inches from my face.
Just the standard high school experience right?

(Ed) Let's not get everyone's hopes too high some of that (most notably the teacher and the gun) is covered in high school never ends part 2 chapter 8 coming on November 1st 2020 (Ed)

Donut plains track series is and probably always will be my least favourite track series across the whole mario kart series and not just because Doughnut is spelt wrong either!
so you can expect a whole host of terrible very easy to beat times in this one!

Early School Years

During my time in Nursery (kindergarten American friends)  I had  such disdain and hatred for talking with the teachers I sat on the carpet during story time and wet myself!!!
(Ed) And a knock out ending! (Ed)

A lot of kids don't like going to school I obviously couldn't name each and every reason but a few examples could be the pressure of the school work, bullying, the feelings of having to fit in, difficulties making friends or maybe some are just a bit shy.
A bit shy that last one plagued me throughout not just my entire school time but life in general.
Countless school reports over the years would have teachers writing I was a bit shy, or something similar.
As it's something many teachers say about some of my own kids today and something that infuriates me even today it's an issue I'll address first.

I'm not shy, I've never ever been shy, none of my kids are shy.
I have Autism sure, so do they, and I have issues connecting with people sometimes but that doesn't make me shy.
For me personally people either have to click with me pretty much instantly or work extremely hard to get through all the barriers to finally make it inside my mind.
Of course I know how that sounds and I make no such claims that such efforts would be either successful or worth it, you can call me complex, you can call me weird or crazy if you like but if you talk to the very few people who do make it in then they'll tell you I'm certainly not shy!

The sooner the education system and teachers in particular stop trying to pigeon hole kids to fit one of a few limited options the better schools will be in general for all kids no matter what issues they may or may not have.

Okay with that rant over let me go through what memories I have from my pre high school years.
On one occasion during nursery I was wearing my red cord dungarees and with an absolute refusal to talk to the teachers I sat there during story time  and wet myself.

(Ed) Can we stop mentioning that now? (Ed)

I've been told that the bad / traumatic events often stick in the mind while so other memories fail which probably explains why almost all I can remember is such events from the time.
On my first day of nursery my mum took me into the room but my bag and coat on the hook while I cried my eyes out and led me into the classroom.
By this point my eyes are entirely covered by my forearm and under no circumstances was I going to remove it and take a look at the classroom, the teachers or any of the kids I'd spend most of the next 12 years at school with.
My mum tells me she stayed for a long time and certainly a lot longer than any other parent and while that's almost certainly true but she still eventually left me and that made me so mad for such a long time.
Of course she was in a no win situation and I face similar issues as a parent myself now with Khaleesi it's incredibly difficult.
But this was 1984 and the general consensus was hey kid look I hated school and I had to go and now so do you, one day it will all be over and you'll never have to go again.

I spent the vast majority of the whole year sat at a table with my head buried under my arms wanting nothing to do with anyone or anything.
I did eventually remove my arms though I have absolutely no idea how they got me to do so.
But I was still no doubt still that kid the teachers really hated having to deal with, they might exactly say it in front of parents but all teachers have kids and parents too they'd rather not deal with.
I guess I'm on both lists.

The only other things of significance I remember from nursery is being stood  on top of a little hill in the nursery playground and being pelted by snowballs and throwing milk cartons at things everytime the teachers told me I should drink my milk.
I didn't drink milk throughout school but every day in the early years they'd put it in front of me and tell me to drink it anyway.

With nursery out of the way actual school started with years one through six before everyone moved up to highschool.
Thankfully during this period I don't remember wetting myself

(Ed) It probably still happened! (Ed)

But just like nursery the only real memories I have are bad ones.
During year one my mum was taking me down the hill to school when she slipped off the pavement and gashed her leg really badly.
Of course as a young kid it probably looked like a lot more blood than there actually was but it was bad enough that she had to try and hold me and limp all the way home so my dad could take me to school instead.
I didn't want to go of course and I spent the whole day worrying about her.
See mum I do care.
It was probably a good thing I did go because I found her gold watch by the side of the road where she fell on the way  to school with my dad.

In year 2 I remember a kid in my class named Joshua being hit in the head right above the eye with a snowball.
Except it wasn't much of a snowball and much more like an ice ball with a bit of snow around the outside of it.
Again there was probably less blood than I actually remember there being but it certainly split his head open and I remember the blood running down his head and dripping off his face.
He was taken home and back at school within a couple of days perhaps even the day after but it's one of the few early school year memories that stuck with me.

Now I'm going to skip years 3 and 4 because other than having a horrible teacher in year 4 and one of the kids bringing in some black magic book where a number of us tried to do various chants and things none of which ever worked there was nothing of note that I really remember.

(Ed) Come on black magic?
You can't just leave it at that give us an example or two at least! (Ed)

Okay a couple of quick examples one where we had to all stand in front of a mirror and chant a name, I believe it was bloody queen Mary but I could be wrong.
Maybe someone had just seen the Candy Man movie!
It was amusing watching some kids run screaming from the bathroom saying she was going to kill them while everyone else was just staring in a mirror at their own disappointed reflection that obviously nothing happened. 

There was also some kind of silly thing where you set up pegs at the top of your stairs in a particular way and then read a certain part of bible backwards.
In doing so the pegs would come to life you'd have to run down the stairs as fast as possible before they quite literally pegged you to death.
As you can probably imagine that didn't work either.
I'm not sure exactly what is more stupid all of the kids that took part in these crazy little experiments or the parent that bought the book for kid in the first place!

Okay with that little detour I'll definitely be skipping year 6 the only thing that happened during that year was I was the first kid in the entire school to wear jeans, and I was widely mocked for it.
Within a couple of months half the school was wearing jeans, I guess I'm a trendsetter!
And the majority of the kids were scared to hell of going up to high school while I didn't care at all I'd already being through 7 years of hell high school just felt like a continuation of it to me.
That was half right at least.

So I'll end the chapter with year 5 and the best teacher I ever had despite him repeatedly telling my class as a whole that we were the worst class he'd ever taught and he even retired at the end of the school year!
That happened a lot through high school too.
Despite my hatred for school I had a very small number of great teachers and Mr East was easily my favourite of them all.
He encouraged me to write and always enjoyed reading through my short stories I'd write at home and bring in for him.
Or at the very least he'd always give the impression he did, I'm not sure how much he wanted a new story every Monday but at no point did he ever ask me to stop.
He told me he believed I had exceptional potential as a writer for my age.
The handwriting was another story, my handwriting was, still is & always will be exceptionally dreadful! 

(Ed) He's not wrong everyone let's all be thankful for PC's! (Ed)

So at nine / ten years old my love affair with writing and telling stories really moved up a few gears.
I always liked to write but with his praise and encouragement my stories would get longer and more detailed each and every week.
Many involved death and monsters and the murder of many a school pupil which I guess would probably throw up a red flag or ten these days but it was just my style at the time and I wasn't really a fan of the vast majority of my peers so coming up with new monsters or new ways to kill them each week was one of the few things in life that gave me motivation to go to school.
I'd usually sit in the playground on my own each lunch break and watch the kids run around the playground.
Talking, shouting, screaming whatever it was I honed my observation skills that I'd later go on to virtually master in high school.
I'd blend in, get ignored, hear fun stories and twist them into new ways to kill my classmates in the stories!

(Ed) You do realise that so far in this book, you've ended the chapters with a sperm setting off on a journey, you wetting yourself and now thinking up new ways to kill your classmates!
Yes that was meant in fictional terms but when you mix it all in with the mind stuff  you aren't coming across that well and high school is next, high school! nobody is ever going to get to the end of this!  (Ed)

(Ed) Oh and one last thing!
You forgot to mention the part where you were playing baseball on the field swung the bat missed the ball, hit yourself above the eye and knocked yourself out! 
wouldn't that have been a much more light hearted and amusing end to a chapter?(Ed)

Chapter 3.5 The Mind

Our guide gets an actual real name!

(Ed) It's true I couldn't believe it either! (Ed)

Kids come and kids go as the keeper tries to keep people in and out all at the same time.
​
New chapters will be published every Sunday at 8pm (UK time)
Bonus chapters will be posted on July 21st & November 25th at 8pm regardless of day
The book will be concluded with the epilogue on July  21st  2024

I'm good at Ghost Valley tracks, and Koopa Beach and of course Rainbow road!
That's what I told myself before I began recording this series.
​I might have been good at all of them in the early 90's in 2020 it turns out I'm not!

Fastest time - 1.04.77

The Mind Part 2

Our guide had a terrible night's sleep.
Someone broke a lot of glass and we get to meet a sweet little boy.

(Ed) Not that sweet! (Ed)

Our guide makes her way down a dimly lit corridor with the sole mission of banging on that big steel door until she's let in to make a formal complaint about the room she was given to stay in.
She expected the room to be rather dark of course and wasn't even all that shocked by the blood stains or the occasional screams from the keeper but that bed, it simply won't do.
It couldn't even be called a bed really a mattress on the dark damp floor perhaps.
No even that would probably be too kind of a description.
And the sporadic sheep bleats were serious cause of annoyance too she'll have to be sure to mention that, was the keeper murdering them?
Why would there be sheep here?

(Ed) You don't want to know! (Ed)

Nothing that has happened so far has made any sense.

(Ed) You can say that again! (Ed)

Our guide finally reaches the steel door and bangs on it so hard she hurts her hand in the process almost certain she heard a crack.
Catching our guide completely off guard the door gently drifts open all on it's own so holding her now throbbing hand she attempts her best angry walk and enters.

"That was the worst night I've ever..."

Our guide's attention is broken mid sentence as she looks around at all the broken glass on the floor and the sight of a little boy no older than three or four stood in the middle of the of the room staring at her with a faint glimmer of a smile.

"Who are you little boy?"
"Are you lost?"
"This isn't the best place for kids trust me I think I just broke my own hand on that door"
"Come on let's get you somewhere safer is such a place even exists here"

Much to our guides horror the little boy walks up to her with broken glass crunching under only his sock covered feet with each tiny step.
He takes our guides throbbing hand and feels all around it.

"It's not broken don't worry"
"You better get use to it if your're going to stay though"
"This place is full of pain"

The boy walks back to the centre of the room and sits down in the middle of the broken glass.
Our guide as is often the case stares at him completely dumbfounded.

"Who are you?"

The little boy pulls a large shard of glass from his leg and watches the blood begin to squirt out.

"Haven't you worked it out yet?"
"I'm the keeper of the mind"

Our guide tries her hardest to get out some form of response intelligent or otherwise but is completely thrown off course when the little boy, the keeper of the mind, stands up right in front of her and proceeds to wet himself.
 
(Ed) You cant keep ending chapters with that! (Ed)

Chapter 3 Early School Years

While nowhere near as controversial or downright crazy as my high school years, they often say early school years help define you as a person for the rest of your life.
I'm not really sure how true that is but it certainly didn't help me a whole lot!

Not everyone be it general readers or our game industry partners will be happy about the inclusion of this book on the website.
If we lose views or press content or review copies then that's just life and that's how it will be.
Under no circumstances will this content be removed to satisfy the desires of anyone else.
Entries in this book are published at 8 pm (UK time) every Sunday with extra chapters on July 21st and November 25th.
The whole series will end On July 25th 2024 it shouldn't really be that hard to skip these posts if you so desire.
Talking about life's struggles as well as life's happiness is something that not enough people in the world do already.
This book does have sporadic gaming content and gaming certainly saved my life more than once.
I've also heavily edited the book since it was first written to remove over 99% of the language some people might find offensive so reader / developer / publisher or press partner if you're simply offended because this book talks about real life (or some of that crazy mind stuff) I thank you for visiting and or any help you've given me in the past.

Another of my not so favourite track types choco I didn't have high hopes for this time trial at all and expect Kevin Williams and anyone else who wants to enter the hall of fame beat it by at least 5 seconds quite easily.

Choco Island 1
Laps - 5
Corners - 4
Chicanes (2)
Piranha Plants - 8
Mud Patches - 3

(Editor Notes) Their chocolate patches it's called choco island  clue is in the title! (Editor Notes) 

​New Zealand ​

Early Memories

A lot of broken glass, some very stupid decisions and a very wet ending!
(Ed) Not much has changed over the years then? (Ed)

I've read hundreds of autobiographies throughout my life and they always include an early chapter or two on the early stages of life and almost always include some incredible memory or accomplishment from such a young age.
Well I didn't achieve anything of significance in the early stages of my life and to be perfectly honest I try not to remember the vast majority of my past anyway.
So with that amazing introduction here are the few mostly underwhelming and largely historically insignificant early memories from the first 4 years of my life.

My very earliest memory is from the back garden of my very first home (I actually don't remember anything at all of the house but the back garden with a tiny small fence separating it from next doors garden.
I kicked or threw a little orange ball over the fence and I was too afraid to go over the fence and get it.
I'm sure somebody did but all I remember is staring at that orange ball and wanting it back.
As totally pointless and uninteresting as such a memory is that is the earliest thing I can ever remember and is the reason for it's inclusion.

(Ed) Thrilling stuff perhaps you should have skipped this chapter and jumped right over to high school!
I'll go check that out while you ramble on here. (Ed)

My next very early memory was in Barnsley hospital with my dad and Grandma (his mum)
My mum had just had another baby, it could have been my brother or sister I have no idea.
I was sat in a hospital corridor looking at a comic that I had absolutely no interest in just wishing I could get out of there and away from that hospital smell.
Thankfully as i'm writing this right now I obviously did make it out of there, I assume I did see the baby first but I don't remember seeing it and I'm not one of those people that finds newborn babies the most beautiful things in the world anyway, amazing experiences when their your own but to say all newborn babies are just the cutest beautiful things in the world is just beyond me.
so it's unlikely to have had that much of an impression on me anyway.

At a reasonably young age (I’m not sure exactly how old) I got lost in the supermarket.
I was with my dad one minute and on my own the next.
Like you would probably expect most young children to do I bawled my eyes out.
A woman walked up to me and asked me if I was lost.
I guess I was really lucky as she could have been anyone and done anything fortunately for me she helped me find my dad.
It only took a few seconds he was only at the end of the long isle, I guess perhaps I should have got glasses about 10 years earlier than I did!

Back in the 80's every house I visited always seemed to have a lot of glass, cabinets tables, paper racks there just seemed to be glass everywhere.
I'm not really sure if it was an 80's thing in general or a close family thing but regardless it wasn't a good idea.
 I was at home one day playing in the living room while my mum was doing the housework dusting ect… (not a sexist thing just how it was at the time!)
We had this big cabinet in the living room with glass doors.
I have no idea what was in it but my mum had the doors open to clean whatever it was.
She left the room for a few seconds to go into the kitchen and for reasons that will likely never be explained I put down the toys jumped to my feet (yes kids I could jump then!) I ran like a crazy little possessed kid right around the sofa and crash straight through the glass cabinet door.
It had a wooden frame all around the glass panel so the glass part was easily definable but that no longer mattered because now it barely had any glass left and I clearly remember thinking I need to get back to my playing spot so my mum wouldn't know it was me.
Of course that never happened she came running out of the kitchen in seconds and even if I had made it back the probably not as big as I remember shard of glass sticking out of my right leg.
I don't know how long it bled for but I remember my mum wrapping a towel around it.
I never went to the hospital or got any stitches so I don't know how bad it really was but I do still have the scar on my leg 35+ years later

Might as well continue with the breaking class theme as on one particular Sunday night while Bullseye was on TV I was laid on the sofa with a bad case of man flu.
Having been coughing and sneezing and spluttering all day for some reason or another I got up and walked towards the kitchen where my parents were.
On the way I walked past the large glass dining table, it had a tablecloth over it and for one reason or another a screwdriver just laying there.
I picked up the screwdriver and tapped the table with the handle end.
Now I really did just tap it and then placed the screwdriver back down on the table and went to lay back on the sofa.
Yes Ed despite the fact I was supposed to be going to the kitchen.
Ed?
Where are you?
Within seconds of my body hitting the sofa a huge chunk of the glass dining table hit the floor and shattered everywhere.
I'm still not entirely convinced that was all my fault, well okay sure it probably was my fault but how does a tiny tap make a huge chunk all off a giant round class table that table clearly was structurally terrible!
​
(Ed) Right I'm back I assume I've missed nothing of significance?
We need to talk about the high school chapters though guns are one thing but people aren't going to like that teacher stuff! (Ed)

My final early memory comes from when I was in nursery school.
On one particular day I was wearing red cord dungarees (for the record I loved them)
We were sat on the carpet having a story read to us, I hated the teachers and refused to talk to them so rather than stick up my hand and speak I just sat there waiting for the stupid dull and uninteresting story to end. 

(Ed) I know the feeling! (Ed)

Not being able to wait any longer I sat on that carpet and wet myself!

(Ed) And that ladies and gentlemen and hopefully only readers of mature ages from what's to come is probably one of the most honest endings to a chapter any book will ever have! (Ed)

Chapter 1.5 The Mind

​The keeper looks a little different, our guide is as confused as ever and someone is going to get a very wet ending!

New chapters will be published every Sunday at 8pm (UK time)
Bonus chapters will be posted on July 21st, September 16th & November 25th at 8pm regardless of day
The book will be concluded with the epilogue on November 25th 2023

Not everyone general readers or our game industry partners will be happy about the inclusion of this book on the website.
If we lose views or press content or review copies then that's just life and that's how it will be.
Under no circumstances will this content be removed to satisfy the desires of anyone else.
We won't be publishing more than 4 of these entries a month so they shouldn't be all that hard to just skip past.
Talking about life's struggles as well as life's happiness is something that not enough people in the world do already.
This book does have sporadic gaming content and gaming certainly saved my life more than once.
I've also heavily edited the book since it was first written to remove over 99% of the language some people might find offensive so reader / developer / publisher or press partner if you're simply offended because this book talks about real life (or some of that crazy mind stuff) I thank you for visiting and or any help you've given me in the past.

This is my second favourite track in the whole game after rainbow road.
So obviously this time will be incredibly hard to beat!
(Editor Notes) Keep dreaming (Editor Notes) 

Fastest time - 1.24.41