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(Occasional singing Sheep)
(Occasional singing Sheep)
High School Never Ends Part 1
Possibly the most eventful 5 years of my entire life I hated almost every minute of it but something was always happening.
This is just a sample of the first 3 years.
(Ed) This entry contains content of an adult nature and language the reader may find offensive please consider this before reading. (Ed)
What a bitch!
Not the teacher who took one more big suck before running her her tongue all over my dick, she slipped it back out of her mouth gave it a kiss and slipped it back in my pants where it belonged.
No she wasn't the bitch she was one of the few reasons I actually got to finish high school without killing myself not something everyone in my high school managed to do.
But that is a story for part 2 (Chapter 8)
No it was the whole going to high school for a whole 5 years that was the real bitch here.
During those 5 years I experienced boredom, extreme depression, very occasional subjects of interest, anorexia, a number of disgraceful teaching decisions, some utterly disgraceful teachers, screwed up exams, of course the aforementioned special teacher and her extra relaxation methods and even someone pointing a gun directly in my face threatening to blow me away all because I wouldn't give him any chewing gum!
This chapter will cover the first 3 years of high school so lets start at the very beginning with the first day at the new big school.
Most of my former class mates from the old small school were walking around all day like nervous little sheep but for me personally it was no different to before.
Sure it was a much bigger school and there were more kids around but to me nothing had really changed it was just a slightly bigger hell than before.
The only real difference being the fact we had different teachers for every class and had to move around to get to them.
The boredom set in quickly we were covering far more subjects than we ever did during the past but none of them sparked any additional interest for me, I still breezed through maths because I've always just found numbers so incredibly easy and I still enjoyed writing in English but my creativity was severely dampened in that subject due to the sheer amount of reading we had to do on subjects I simply hated.
Shakespeare in particular was never going to motivate me to read or write anything and would become a constant battle between myself and my teachers throughout high school and lead to a collapse in grades in the final GCSE exams at the end of high school.
We also had to read Wind in the willows which wasn't an issue in itself but I had already read the book a couple of years earlier and lacked the motivation to do so again.
In addition to the fact that I was expected to read out aloud on multiple occasions and that was never going to end very well.
But despite those disagreements with the English teacher he did redeem himself when he told us to write a creative story about the entire class, each chapter had to be a minimum 2 pages and he'd drop in a compulsory scenario that had to happen in each one.
the basic premise was the school had won a holiday cruise that got stranded, we all end up on an island where a number of people are taken by cannibals, and on and on it went.
Needless to say I was in my element and ended up turning in over 250 pages of action, excitement and of course lots of death as once again I had the freedom to pick of my class mates in any creative way I saw fit.
I was awarded an A+ grade for my efforts and after covering my issues with reading out aloud in class during the story he never asked me to do so again, not that it mattered a whole lot during 5 years of high school we ended up with 8 different English teachers!
The class I was expecting to have the most issues with during my first year was actually the one I had the least with, Religious education (RE)
During the first RE lesson the teacher asked who believed in God, a number of pupils put their hand up.
She then asked who didn't and of course I put my hand up along with a small group of others.
She pointed at me and asked if there was any particular reason for it.
I told her I not only believe it to be the biggest hoax in the history of mankind but religion in general (And that's all religion not one particular version) is the biggest killer or murder motivation in the history of mankind. (That's true by the way)
She asked who agreed with me and unsurprisingly nobody put their hand up.
She walked over to my desk bent down and asked me how I felt about the old gods such as the Greek ones or the vikings, I told her they didn't exist either but at least they were fun and had a cool story.
"Well" she smiled, "You're going to have some fun for one year at least anyway"
And I did for the most part, the whole mythology and stories surrounding the Greek gods in particular have always appealed to me because they don't really read as religious teachings at least not to me.
Now before the ed jumps in to add this I have no personal issue with anyone else believing in anything they want, my biggest issue with the teaching of religion in schools is that it's compulsory and not optional, each individual it having things told to them from as young age often as facts when no such things can ever be proven as true.
Of course if a person decides to follow faith regardless of what faith that is then that's fine with me but given them the chance to make up and explore that option themselves and stop trying to influence them throughout childhood.
So with that controversial point out of the way lets jump ahead to my third year of high school.
From a learning perspective both the second and third year were more of the same with an ever deeper depression setting in and less teachers I actually got on with and what felt like ever decreasing creative freedom in lessons.
By this point one of the head teachers (we had more than one for various years) had decided to take me under her wing as some kind of special project.
She had already decided I was extremely shy (completely untrue) and had dyslexia (that is true) so she started recording work books ect for me to listen to so I wouldn't have to read them and could work more easily.
That was her idea on how things would work anyway in reality she read too fast and not clear enough to make it worth the effort or time in addition to the fact she almost always did it for maths where I excelled and despite the fact I sometime end up reading things over more than once I actually still enjoy reading as long as it's in my own head.
For me it was more of an annoyance than anything else but within a month or so she'd got bored or just too busy to carry on and the whole thing ended as quickly as it started.
I was relived I hated the weekly meetings her breath always smelled really strongly of coffee and I didn't need the attention from the other kids while sat in a class room wearing headphones that didn't even block out the rest of the class noise anyway.
So her ultimate solution would be when I moved up to the final two school years for the exam period she'd put my in all of the low performing class groups therefore making my work that much easier while also giving me several supported studies each week where in theory I can sit in a class with the other perceived idiots and get help from a teacher with work from other classes.
In reality we'd sit in a class I'd do my home work because I was never going to do it at home and nobody got any additional help or support from which ever teacher had drawn the short straw to sit with us because they either had no knowledge of most subjects and none of them ever wanted to be there in the first place.
So even in subjects like maths where I was certainly in the top percentage of my class at the end of year 2 I was put in the bottom group from year 3 onward no matter how well I did.
The only class I ever got moved up a level in was science and my teacher had to fight months on end for that.
I wish he hadn't in the end because they still put me in the easiest exam group at the end of high school and the teacher in the next level group hated me anyway.
I'll round out year 3 the way I did in real life with anorexia.
A random comment one day on the school field affected me far more than it should have and to this day I still really don't know why.
I took one bite of a cucumber and tomato sandwich and the kid in question pointed over at me and said look at him stuffing his fat face like he always is.
I threw the sandwich in my bag and just simply walked off the field.
I'd had issues with the kid in question for a long time, he took an instant dislike to me when he joined our school midway through junior school.
He always bragged about being amazing at cricket but I'd always bowl him out so easily and if I were out batting him he'd tap it and run just to run me out of the game and not show him up further.
So we weren't friends and I'd certainly butchered him with great delight in multiple stories over the years, but nothing he'd ever said to me before or even afterwards ever bothered me, it was just that one stupid little comment at that exact moment on that day.
Once off the field all my lunch (which wasn't much more than the sandwiches anyway all went in the bin.
For almost 4 years I never ate breakfast or lunch again and only on very rare occasions would I even eat later at night and never more than three times a week.
I started to get a lot more tired throughout the school day than I use to before despite having the usual 4 / 5 hours of sleep everyday and after a few months I noticed some of the weight beginning to drop off.
But it wasn't a weight issue for me in the first place I've never cared about my body size or shape and I still don't today.
On the few occasions I did eat later at night it was almost always full on fat food under some kind of crazy idea that if I eat a load of this kind of stuff now it will get me through to the next one.
In the end it just simply became a routine and I've always tried to stick to routines where possible which I guess is just another autism thing.
In reflection I didn't stop eating because of something some idiot said to me, I wouldn't give you that much credit or power then or now.
I left the field because I was sick of listening to him and I dumped my food because I always eat in the same place and I wasn't going to eat it somewhere else.
It's all about the routine.
I never was and never will be interested in eating food regardless of what it is or how good it looks and tastes, I'm one of those people who would happily take a pill every meal time and never eat food again and that's coming from someone so dead set against taking medication pills.
Food is a chore for me and something that takes up time that could be better spent doing something else.
I don't like people doing things for me so I have to waste time making the food before I waste even more time eating it.
But that's me and how I am.
So unique perhaps I can't even do an eating disorder right or for the right reasons, no that's not quite right there aren't any right reasons for anorexia, or bulimia or any other issue that so many people go through every year especially in high school.
For some people it's the bullies or the little comments, for others it's depression or self hatred.
And maybe some people out there just simply hate eating like me.
It doesn't matter what the reason is if I hadn't met Kerry I would have eventually starved to death or ended up in and out of hospital for how ever long I survived.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be some fully reformed and fully fixed person when it comes to food.
I still won't have breakfast or lunch more than once a week and even that is a rarity, But I do now eat dinner at least 6 times a week.
So I can't say much about the choices that others make and I highly doubt that I can say a whole lot that will make a big enough difference that it will magically fix all of your issues.
But if anyone wants to talk about it or indeed any issues with high school in general (I went through most of them)
you can get in touch via email
Put My Life My Mind in the subject matter it will flag up as important in our always full inbox then.
And that's about it for part one of high school never ends (Spoiler the song is right it really doesn't)
Part 2 will cover how things started with the teacher in the first place and more details on exactly what we did and didn't do as well as my reasoning for never naming her.
It will also cover having a gun shoved in my face and how badly I wanted him to pull that trigger and get my life over and done with.
All of that will be here in chapter 8 as I work my way through a few extra money making schemes I took part in while attending high school and telling a world famous footballer exactly why I didn't want or need his autograph!
Chapter 4.5 The Mind
The keeper gets a new look, while the monsters from the dark attempt to dismember more people.
New chapters will be published every Sunday at 8pm (UK time)
Bonus chapters will be posted on July 21st & November 25th at 8pm regardless of day
The book will be concluded with the epilogue on July 21st 2024
Not everyone general readers or our game industry partners will be happy about the inclusion of this book on the website.
If we lose views or press content or review copies then that's just life and that's how it will be.
Under no circumstances will this content be removed to satisfy the desires of anyone else.
We won't be publishing more than 4 of these entries a month so they shouldn't be all that hard to just skip past.
Talking about life's struggles as well as life's happiness is something that not enough people in the world do already.
This book does have sporadic gaming content and gaming certainly saved my life more than once.
I've also heavily edited the book since it was first written to remove over 99% of the language some people might find offensive so reader / developer / publisher or press partner if you're simply offended because this book talks about real life (or some of that crazy mind stuff) I thank you for visiting and or any help you've given me in the past.
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