The Mind Part 3

Our guide finally reveals her name to everyone and hell might actually be freezing over!

(Ed) This entry contains content including the fictional death of children some people may find inappropriate, offensive or upsetting please consider this before reading. (Ed)

Our guide walks up to the big bolted door, while her accommodation had been improved it's still not nearly as satisfactory as she'd like it to be.
She puts her hand up to knock hesitantly.
​Who knows what she'll find this time perhaps the keeper is somehow just getting younger with each passing visit, he needs to let her in on that secret she could be a millionaire!
She takes a deep breath and gently knocks on the door, it opens much quicker than she expected catching her off guard and sending her falling through to the floor inside.
She braces herself for the crunch of the hard cold floor and potential broken glass all around there is no crunch but the floor is cold, far colder than usual.
She slowly gets to her feet trying not to slip on the snow all around her.
The keeper still in child form no older or younger than last time she was in here is stood a few feet away  in a patch of yellow snow and surrounded by mountains of snowballs.

(Ed) Can we please not do the he wet himself again? (Ed)

Choosing to ignore the the yellow snow our guide instead turns her attention to the mountain of Snowballs.

(Ed) Thank you! (Ed)

"They said I had a snowball's chance in hell of getting through to you when I got here I guess they were right"

She isn't sure if the keeper actually got the joke or not but he did manage a little smirk right before he started pelting her with a barrage of snowballs the last of which split open her right eyebrow.

"Hey what was that for?"

Before the keeper even has a chance to reply  a number of kids run through the bolted door and begin shouting and screaming while throwing snowballs at each other.
Our guide looks around the room at what most might generally just describe as little kids being little kids but the keeper is also a little kid and he obviously doesn't fit in, a number of the kids soon begin to target all of their snowballs in his direction.
Out of a darkened corner and old balding man steps forward, his glasses halfway down his nose he should also be experienced enough to know this is is mostly kids being kids but he also looks less than impressed with the noise or behaviour.
The keeper makes a his way over to him and hands him a piece of paper.
The old man smiles pats the keeper on the back whispers something in his ear and makes his departure through the forever open door.

The keeper takes a couple of steps back towards a darkened corner but our guide can still see the smile on his face as creatures begin to come out of the shadows.
Some have red eyes, some green, others yellow, some have fangs, others covered in hair and yet more are simply too strange or difficult to describe.

(Ed) Oh come on how hard could it be to describe creature with a vain covered face with only 1 eye, 3 arms and razor blade like claws! as for the rest why not just tell people to imagine any of the old hammer horror movies but with a lot more gore and a lot less human! (Ed)

Within what felt like seconds the room had fallen silent, the creatures had bitten, clawed and torn apart all the children with a viciousness our guide couldn't begin to comprehend.
The keeper walks back over to her with a look of calmness on his face.
The only sound now present was his footsteps in the blood soaked snow, as he steps over a discarded body part and takes our guides shaking hand.
Our guide looks down at the keeper who seems completely at ease with his current surroundings.

"They were just children"
"They had names"
"They had families"

The keeper looks genuinely puzzled by her reaction as he surveys the room,

"Do you have a name?"

Completely thrown off guard our guide starts walking around the room trying to avoid all of what is left behind.

"Does it really matter what my name is?"
"All of these kids had a name and look what happened to them"
"My name isn't important" 

Once again the keeper takes a hold of our guides hand,

"Don't worry about all of these people we can do it all again next week and I'll make it better I promise"
"They don't matter"
"As long as I can keep making them go away they will never matter"
"But you're name does"
"If you truly want to be here and you truly want to see this through to the end then you need to tell me"

Our guide looks towards the open door and takes a deep breath.

"Well I guess I'm pretty committed to all of this now right?"
"My name is..."

(Ed) Despite all the name jokes please be sure you want to say her name she's always been the guide in every draft for the last 15 years! (Ed)

She takes another deep breath.

"My name is Cecilia"
"Cece or CC if you prefer"
"So how about you drop the keeper stuff and tell me your name too?"

The keeper throws a couple of limbs through the open door on the way to his favoured dark corner.

"I'm sorry I can't do that"
"It will totally ruin the ending of the book"

As he disappears into the darkness Cecilia picks up a half yellow, half red snowball and throws it in his direction.

"I hope that hit you!"

Rather than waiting for a response she knows is likely never coming Cecilia picks up her snow covered journal and makes her way out of the bolted door and back towards her room.
It might still not be the most comfortable but at least it wasn't covered in snow and body parts.

(Ed) Please note that neither the author nor the site or anyone involved condones or wants to promote violence against children in anyway.
The mind segments are largely a work of fiction and should be read and understood as such.
These were the thoughts and feelings from within a child's mind how healthy or unhealthy they maybe is an entirely different debate but that remains what they were. (Ed)

Chapter 4 High School Never Ends Part 1

The book finally takes off as 5 years of high school see's boredom, pain, an eating disorder, bullies,  future career ambitions raised and crushed, messed up exams, sexual relations with a teacher, and someone pointing a gun inches from my face.
Just the standard high school experience right?

(Ed) Let's not get everyone's hopes too high some of that (most notably the teacher and the gun) is covered in high school never ends part 2 chapter 8 coming on November 1st 2020 (Ed)

The Mind Part 2

Our guide had a terrible night's sleep.
Someone broke a lot of glass and we get to meet a sweet little boy.

(Ed) Not that sweet! (Ed)

Our guide makes her way down a dimly lit corridor with the sole mission of banging on that big steel door until she's let in to make a formal complaint about the room she was given to stay in.
She expected the room to be rather dark of course and wasn't even all that shocked by the blood stains or the occasional screams from the keeper but that bed, it simply won't do.
It couldn't even be called a bed really a mattress on the dark damp floor perhaps.
No even that would probably be too kind of a description.
And the sporadic sheep bleats were serious cause of annoyance too she'll have to be sure to mention that, was the keeper murdering them?
Why would there be sheep here?

(Ed) You don't want to know! (Ed)

Nothing that has happened so far has made any sense.

(Ed) You can say that again! (Ed)

Our guide finally reaches the steel door and bangs on it so hard she hurts her hand in the process almost certain she heard a crack.
Catching our guide completely off guard the door gently drifts open all on it's own so holding her now throbbing hand she attempts her best angry walk and enters.

"That was the worst night I've ever..."

Our guide's attention is broken mid sentence as she looks around at all the broken glass on the floor and the sight of a little boy no older than three or four stood in the middle of the of the room staring at her with a faint glimmer of a smile.

"Who are you little boy?"
"Are you lost?"
"This isn't the best place for kids trust me I think I just broke my own hand on that door"
"Come on let's get you somewhere safer is such a place even exists here"

Much to our guides horror the little boy walks up to her with broken glass crunching under only his sock covered feet with each tiny step.
He takes our guides throbbing hand and feels all around it.

"It's not broken don't worry"
"You better get use to it if your're going to stay though"
"This place is full of pain"

The boy walks back to the centre of the room and sits down in the middle of the broken glass.
Our guide as is often the case stares at him completely dumbfounded.

"Who are you?"

The little boy pulls a large shard of glass from his leg and watches the blood begin to squirt out.

"Haven't you worked it out yet?"
"I'm the keeper of the mind"

Our guide tries her hardest to get out some form of response intelligent or otherwise but is completely thrown off course when the little boy, the keeper of the mind, stands up right in front of her and proceeds to wet himself.
 
(Ed) You cant keep ending chapters with that! (Ed)

Chapter 3 Early School Years

While nowhere near as controversial or downright crazy as my high school years, they often say early school years help define you as a person for the rest of your life.
I'm not really sure how true that is but it certainly didn't help me a whole lot!

Not everyone be it general readers or our game industry partners will be happy about the inclusion of this book on the website.
If we lose views or press content or review copies then that's just life and that's how it will be.
Under no circumstances will this content be removed to satisfy the desires of anyone else.
Entries in this book are published at 8 pm (UK time) every Sunday with extra chapters on July 21st and November 25th.
The whole series will end On July 25th 2024 it shouldn't really be that hard to skip these posts if you so desire.
Talking about life's struggles as well as life's happiness is something that not enough people in the world do already.
This book does have sporadic gaming content and gaming certainly saved my life more than once.
I've also heavily edited the book since it was first written to remove over 99% of the language some people might find offensive so reader / developer / publisher or press partner if you're simply offended because this book talks about real life (or some of that crazy mind stuff) I thank you for visiting and or any help you've given me in the past.

The Mind Part 1

The protagonist gets a name.

(Ed) A title not a name, we still need a name! (Ed)

Our protagonist nervously begins to open her left eye in the hope that things might have improved since the last time we were with her.

(Ed) Not much chance of that you agreed she wouldn't be called protagonist anymore remember? (Ed)
​
She can barely make out the keeper still sat in his dark corner huddled up as tightly as possible and not looking like he's in much of a mood for conversation.
Should she ask more questions that the crazy guy clearly doesn't want to answer or should she just do as she was advised and break for freedom and the open door?
She slowly works her way over to the door but stops just short of putting a foot through it.
She turns to look at the keeper one last time and all the darkness that surrounds him.
So many questions are running through her head, what will actually happen if she walks through the door?
Why is there nobody else here?
Why is it so dark?
Why couldn't there be a few signs or posters or even a guide to explain what exactly was going on here?
A guide, yes a guide that could work, she walks back over to the feet of the huddled mumbling keeper of this dark un guided mind.

"You know what you need don't you?"

(Ed) Don't do it! (Ed)

"You need a guide around this place"
"Someone to help document your struggle"
"Someone to try understand and help you better"
"Dare I say it someone  to bring some light to all of your darkness" 
"I'll do it!"
"I'll be the guide"

(Ed) That's not a name! (Ed)

The keeper once again slowly drags himself to his feet, fresh cuts see trickles of blood dripping down his left arm.

"Bring light you say"

Our guide smiles and gives what she hopes is a comforting and reassuring nod.

"Like some kind of angel coming down from heaven to lighten up my life and make everything magically better right?"

(Ed) Please let's not go there yet, or perhaps ever, that chapter later on really needs serious changes too don't you think? (Ed)

The keeper looks down at the tiny drops of blood running down his arm and wipes them away with the bottom of his shirt.
Our guide briefly fixated on the now blood stained shirt, takes a notebook out of her bag and makes a quick note of it.

(Ed) Never mentioned having a bag before (Ed)

"Well I wouldn't say angel exactly"
"More like a friend with a lantern that will try and help you through the darkness"
"I can take notes and help you through whatever difficulties that you've experienced to get you to this point"

It's hard for our guide to tell if the keeper was having a coughing or laughing fit over the next few minutes but either way he seemed unimpressed as he slumps back to the floor and sticks a blade into his already cut up arm.

"You really shouldn't be doing that it might be a quick release but it won't help you in the long term"

The keeper snarls and throws the knife to the ground.

"Do you know how many so called guides that have been through here?"
"How many tried to shine a light on things past and present"
"How many said they could document things and help me get through"

Our guide was about to take a random guess at the question but the keeper didn't give him a chance

"Fifteen"
"Fithteen so called guides have come and fourteen didn't last five minutes"

"But one did"

Our quick counting guide seems quite pleased with the fact she could do the math so quickly but the keeper looks less than impressed with her efforts.

"One did"
"And yet the darkness still remains as you can see"
"He made it clear enough there are only 2 eventual outcomes here"

Our guide pulls out her book and makes more notes

"What are you doing"

The keeper looks more annoyed than ever with our guide.
Either oblivious to such a reaction or simply too engrossed in words to pay them much attention our guide speaks while continuing to write.

"Well it seems obvious that the two choices were to be completely consumed and destroyed by the darkness or simply get everything out of your system once and for all in written form"
"Free yourself from the pain and the past and lay everything out in the open, the good, the bad and the truly horrible"
"We'll go wherever you want to go and I'll document everything you want me to document"
"Now where can a guide like myself find a room to put my stuff in a dark place like this?"

Chapter 2 Early memories

Sat on a carpet wearing red dungarees I wet myself!

(Ed) Just when everybody thought this couldn#t get any worse! (Ed)

Not everyone general readers or our game industry partners will be happy about the inclusion of this book on the website.
If we lose views or press content or review copies then that's just life and that's how it will be.
Under no circumstances will this content be removed to satisfy the desires of anyone else.
We won't be publishing more than 4 of these entries a month so they shouldn't be all that hard to just skip past.
Talking about life's struggles as well as life's happiness is something that not enough people in the world do already.
This book does have sporadic gaming content and gaming certainly saved my life more than once.
I've also heavily edited the book since it was first written to remove over 99% of the language some people might find offensive so reader / developer / publisher or press partner if you're simply offended because this book talks about real life (or some of that crazy mind stuff) I thank you for visiting and or any help you've given me in the past.